The Real Real
My story of brokenness is instrumental to who I am today.
I was sexually assaulted at the age 16 and consequently spent several years trying make sense of what happened. I eventually convinced myself that I must have done something to cause it. I didn’t even think about what it truly was until my mid 20’s.
By that time, I had spent over 10 years “coping” and stayed in and out of abusive romantic relationships and friendships.
I wasted time playing make-believe and giving people an incomplete version of myself. The “Lina” I wanted others to see was a mask that became harder and hard to put on. I felt immense pressure to look like I had it altogether when in reality my insides were disintegrating.
I had racked up a "soul-tie" list a mile long and desperately needed to break free from the bondage of promiscuity, pornography, and friendships that were harmful and debilatating to my spirit.
After many years of feeling beaten up by life, I turned and made half joking/half serious comment towards heaven. I told Jesus that if He was real He would show up and allow me to see Him. Well, my Father took that request literally and did exactly that. I’ve been on a search to find out more about Him ever since.
The journey from brokenness, to redemption, and then finally to TRULY believing in my enough-ness (is that a word?) is harder than it looks (in all honesty it sucks most days). However, I am grateful for a God who saw my potential and refused to let me stay where I was. We serve a MIGHTY God, don’t we?